Unabridged
by WeAreRevolutionaries
Summary: The parts of Lupin and Tonks' story that weren't told. Sirius confronts Lupin about his feelings, Sirius' death, Start of their relationship, Pregnancy, and Death. Completely canon (as far as I know) Rated T for scattered language and dirty-minded Sirius
1. Advice from Padfoot

Disclaimer: If I were JK Rowling, Fred Weasley would not be dead. Neither would Lupin or Sirius or Tonks.

Remus Lupin was very much uncomfortable. And he had Nymphadora Tonks to thank for that.

She entered the room in Muggle clothing, and unlike most, she had a peculiar knack for doing it right. Not only to say that she did not look strange, but Remus Lupin was struck by how beautifully she pulled it off. As she sat to join the dinner, she pulled her brown hair out of its ponytail, and her pink hair tumbled over her shoulders.

"Wotcher, Lupin."

He was in a daze. All the blood in his body was rushing very much away from his brain as he opened his mouth to reply.

"Nice to see you Dora. And it's Remus."

She smiled at him as conversation erupted at the other end of the table. Though she joined, neither Remus, nor his good friend contributed. As Sirius ate, he kept watching his friend in his awkward and blushing state, focusing mainly on not laughing.

Remus was trying not to think of anything but his food. Though he was in no danger of the full moon, he felt rather like a wolf as he ravaged his meal.

He let out a sigh of relief as he finished. Standing up rather aprubtly, he excused himself, and stepped out the back door for some air.

After only a gasp of the non-suffocating night air, he heard a click, followed by the tell-tale bark of Sirius' laugh.

"Spectacular! Two thumbs up! Best dining entertainment I've had in my life! Precisely what I've needed."

"It's not funny Padfoot."

Sirius was beet red and looked as if he were to combust. "Not at all Moony. It was not remotely comedic that- how do I put this delicately- your erm," He raised his hand to make quotations, "_wand_ should make such trouble in front of the Order."

"You are still a teenager."

Sirius threw his arm over Remus' shoulder. "A nasty case of arrested development I'm afraid. But you're one to talk Moony. Your," the air quotes made a reappearance, "_wand _seems to think you're back in your prime."

Remus pulled away and punched his friend in the shoulder.

"She is your _cousin!_"

Sirius chortled. "I'm not looking to sleep with her."

"Who said-"

"Shhhhh. No one said that. But remember Moony, the wand chooses the witch."

"Be serious."

"I am." Sirius grinned from ear to ear and his eyes twinkled with tears of laughter.

"Merlin's pants, Sirius! You are such an idiot!" Lupin shoved his friend as he began to smile. He laughed for a moment but then it faded into a sigh. "What do I do? It's not just being attracted to her, it's more than that, but I couldn't possibly be what she's looking for."

"A smart, kind, loyal man with the instincts of an _animal_?" Sirius smiled but was this time reserved.

"Stop. I mean an old, poor man, with a rather large furry problem."

Sirius stepped closer and put his hand on his friend's shoulder as they looked up at the stars. "Careful Remus, I'm older than you." He sighed. "There's nothing you can do to make her love you, but I know Tonks. If she falls in love with the man I described, nothing will stop her, and certainly not the man you described."

Remus turned and his voice fell. "I don't want her to love me."

"Moony-"

"I'm serious. I'm a nuisance, not to be loved."

Sirius thumped his friend on the back of the head. "Are you kidding me? Don't ever tell the man who spent three damn years becoming an Animagus for your sorry ass that you are unworthy of love. The only person that matters that has ever not loved Remus Lupin is Remus Lupin. Stop this bullshit. You deserve happiness, you moron."

He returned this speech with a sigh.


	2. Death of a Friend

Nymphadora Tonks woke up to a moonlit room. It was not one she recognized, and on further contemplation, a hospital room. There were no other patients, but there was a familiar face, standing pensive guard at the window, and unaware of her waking.

As she sat and looked closer, she could see the tears streaming down Remus Lupin's face.

"Remus."

"Nymphadora." His voice was cracked and she could hear no trace of the nervous man she'd been reducing him to lately, only an embittered ghost of that man remained in this voice.

She opened her mouth to protest the grievous usage of her first name, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Instead she pondered what this must mean.

"Who was it?" She sounded young, and her hair faded to a mousy brown as she awaited his answer.

Remus knelt beside her and his bitter mourning faded to tenderness. He broke into sobs by her side. "My old friend, I-I-"

Tonks was flooded with excellent memories of her cousin and she gasped as grief washed over her. She collapsed into herself but made a grab for his hand. And despite his apprehension, he took it.


	3. Stop Resisting

Nymphadora Tonks was angry.

Remus Lupin was defeated.

They were both left in the hospital wing.

Lupin took out his wand. "Muffliato."

"Nymphadora I-"

"Don't call me that."

"Dora, I know how you feel, but this can't happen."

Tears came to the young woman's eyes and her features, though as of late did not change, were noticeably longer. "How do you feel?"

"Dora, you know how I feel. I'm too-"

He was interrupted by a sudden change. Her hair changed to a wildfire mane and her eyes blazed. "OLD! POOR! DANGEROUS! OLD! POOR! DANGEROUS! I'M NOT A SHALLOW CHILD REMUS! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! I HAVE GOLD! I HAVE A BLOODY JOB! I HAVE MADE MY DECISIONS _REGARDLESS_ OF WHAT YOU THINK WILL STOP ME FROM WANTING YOU AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU MAKING MY DAMN DECISIONS FOR ME!" There was another change in her voice, and her eyes filled with tears. "I love you. I thought you felt the same way. I was positive. But I must have been mistaken." She knelt on the floor with her face in her hands.

Lupin felt as if a knife has been driven through his chest. He was choking on the words that were dormant in his throat.

He sat awkwardly in front of her and wiped the tears from her face. He took her chin in his hands and began. "I do love you Dora. I love you so much I want so much better things for you. But as I'm sure I'll discover soon is a usual occurrence: you're right. If you love me and I love you, then I shouldn't stand in your way. I can't say much for your taste, but I'm so glad for it." At the last of this, his breath came in gulps as he gave in.

Their lips met softly, but they did not separate until the necessity of air intervened. Both of them were practically weeping, though they smiled.


	4. True Monster

Remus Lupin was suffering from internal screaming.

Though he had gotten the news only a minute ago, his head was already a bloody mess.

His ears were relaying him sounds that were definitely not happening, and certainly not in the cacophony in which they were arranged. Inside his mind, a symphony of horror was playing.

Cue the string section for the Psycho soundtrack. Over to the brass for the sound of an alarm. The woodwinds were providing an eerie tune. The chorus delivered a long, enduring, high-pitched scream. And the percussion- with the assistance of his brain's acoustics- provided him with an echo of the words-

"I'm pregnant, Remus."

"Say something, honey."

Remus was snapped out of it by his wife's voice.

She was smiling, and beautiful, and her hair was the most vibrant of pinks he had yet to see frame her face.

"I-I- What if it's like me?"

He was shaking. He felt like he would throw up. How could he do this? How could he endanger the woman he loved, let alone an innocent child?

She placed her hand on his to stop the shaking. "You don't know that he will. But if he is a werewolf, I will love him just the same. Will you?"

His breath was taken away by her question, mainly because it hit home so deeply. She was a smart woman.

"Because that would be my only fear, Remus. You hate yourself; you deprive yourself of happiness, because of some shitty affliction that you can't control. Will you do that to your son?"

Her hair was darkening and his anger was deepening, though he knew she was right.

He stood up and shook with anger, or fear, or agony, he didn't know.

"I have to go."

"Remus, I'm sorry, stay!"

His eyes filled with tears as his feelings softened. "Go to your mother's. Stay safe. All I have to give to this family is trouble, I'll be of use in the Order. Just stay safe. I love you Dora."

"NO REMUS!"

The door slammed behind him and he was gone before it opened again.

It had been two weeks and Lupin was still beyond furious.

How dare he call him a coward?

How dare he compare him to his friends?

_How dare he be so utterly completely right?_

_How dare he reduce Lupin to a self-pity that no one could call noble?_

The second was the kicker. He'd admit it when he was drunk.

One of his best friends was fiercely loyal.

The other was talented and brave.

He, Remus Lupin, was trapped in self-pity. At the bottom of an embarrassingly large serving of fire whiskey, he was made aware that self-pity was his life's work. For most of his life, he had feigned some sort of protective nobility to this, but now his mask was gone. There was nothing for him to do but be there for his amazing wife, and yet he chose to piss away the time.

Though he knew he wasn't as cowardly as Pettigrew, he felt a lot more similar to the rat at that moment.

Dammit, he was stupid. He needed to get home. He apparated to the familiar home where Andromeda Tonks lived. Breathing slowly, he knocked on the door, soaked to the skin by the rain. He heard steps from inside and his wife opened the door.

He sighed in relief. "Thank God you're here."

She nodded and let him in.

"Dora-"

She whipped out her wand. "Expelliarmus!"

Lupin's wand landed on the floor and she held hers to his throat.

"What did Remus Lupin say to Nymphadora Tonks when they were first alone on their wedding night?"

Lupin smiled. "I never thought I could be this happy. How did I ever resist you?"

She nodded, but did not remove her wand. "I could kill you."

He nodded. "I would understand."

She put her wand away and took a deep breath. Lupin opened his mouth to speak but then he was struck and pain radiated through his cheek.

He probably should have expected that.

"I _HATE _YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She was sobbing, her hair changing colors madly.

He embraced her, though it was not entirely advisable, and held her tighter than ever before.

"I am the most idiotic arsehole in the world Dora."

He pulled away from her with his hands still on her shoulders and began to weep. He spoke through the tears:

"Being a werewolf doesn't make me a monster. Being a selfish, cowardly, pig does and I'm so sorry. I still maintain that you and our child deserve better, but you deserve whatever you want and I'm sick and tired of taking it from you. You are the love of my life, and the next, and I will never leave again, unless you want me to, in which case I will go kicking and screaming."

She stepped forward and sobbed into his chest. He could make out the words, "You are everything to our family" through the tears and though he didn't deserve to, he smiled.


	5. A Better World for Teddy

Antonin Dolohov sucked. Remus Lupin felt like a toddler in this assessment, but he still maintained its truth. He had a bad feeling about this duel, and he was all but pleased about this jerk taking away his new found happiness.

He was tiring and he knew it.

And then the worst-best-scariest thing happened. He saw his wife. It was his Dora, sending Stunning spells at dueling death eaters, looking regal and intense, and not at home with his son.

"DORA!" His shout caught her attention, and it was filled with grief. She could not be here. He could not lose her. He stunned Dolohov and screamed, "GO HOME! I LOVE YOU, GO HOME! FOR TEDDY!"

She shook her head in tears and took on Bellatrix Lestrange to save Ginny Weasley.

His heart was beating faster and tears ran down his face. His hands shook with dread and he did not react to the rise of Dolohov quickly enough.

"AVADA KEDAVRA"

He was gone.

"NO! REMUS NO!"

Nymphadora Tonks felt dead inside, her heart dropped out of her chest.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

She hoped that the curse would hold, her bat-shit crazy aunt was one problem, but how could she deal with that when her world had collapsed?

She raised her wand and in a flash of green light, Dolohov was dead. She dropped to the floor beside her love and wept over him. She took his hand and she did not care the least bit about the curse that hit her, the curse Bellatrix had cast.

She was gone, but no widow.

Her son was an orphan.


End file.
